This was chosen because of the line "Hate in your heart will consume you too." (We'll ignore the line before about god dealing with the things they do.) Readers that don't know me, and maybe even ones that do, may be surprised at the bitterness in my last post, but I guess I am. And it felt good to let that out here. The alternative would have been to yell at the people talking to me, but that might have felt good too. But I guess I value their friendship and decided to lie and act (possibly poorly) for an hour.
During that time too, what also kinda sucked was that they asked (of course) about the new job, and I lied and said it was good. They had told me how great things were back where I used to work, and I didn't want to say how ridiculous I consider my new job so far. Even though it gets you through the moment, it hurts later, you know. And the knowledge that I might have to keep this up for a while until things actually get better sucks too.
One more thing on the subject. I'm pretty sure I'm guilty of the same thing with another friend of mine that was let go a year before me. I feel really terrible about that now that I've been through the same thing. Probably explains why I've only seen him a handful of times in the past couple years.
Anyway, I should follow this song's instructions and try to not to be negative about stuff. My friend told me to read The Brain That Changes Itself
so maybe that'll help.
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